MATAWA KA KAYA???????

Posts : 38 Join date : 2010-04-15 Age : 38

Isang umaga habang tahimik na nagaagahan c Pedro na ang ulam ay tuyo.
Sarap na sarap na sinasawsaw sa suka ni Pedro ang tuyo ng biglang may
kumagat sa gitna ng kanyang singit. Kinapa at hinuli ni Pedro ang
kumagat sa kanya at galit na galit na tiniris at ang sabi: "HAYOP KANG
LANGGAM KA AKO NAGTITIIS SA TUYO SAMANTALANG IKAW PAITLOG ITLOG PA!!"

Sa sabungan walang entrance fee ang may dalang panabong.. Si juan para makalibre pumasok may dalang sisiw..
Bantay: hoy!! ano yan?
Juan(galit pa) manok!! bakit?
Bantay: alam ko.. eh bakit sisiw??
Juan: heller?? may laban ang ama niya siyempre moral support.. tanga!!!

Nang mamatay si Juan, siya ay napunta sa impyerno. Napansin nyang
maraming naggagandahang babae roon ngunit may problema. Kaya kinausap
niya si taning.
Juan: Mr. Taning, maraming magagandang babae rito sa impyerno pero wala silang mga butas. Bakit?
Mr. Taning: Pag may butas ang mga yan e di nasa langit ka na!

Pedro: Bakit lumaki yung paa ni Amy?
Juan: Sinipa yung punso!
Pedro: Eh, bakit lumaki naman yung nguso ni Fe?
Juan: Dinuraan yung punso...O pare saan ka pupunta?
Pedro: Iihi sa punso!

Mom: doc ano gagawin ko sa anak ko ang liit ng ari nia?
Doktor: madali lang yan misis.. pakainin mo ng hot cake
kinabukasan ng luto ng 10 hotcake si mommy
Anak: wow daming hot cake
Mom: hep hep.. tatlo lang ang sau dyan.. sa daddy mo ang pito

Erap taking a bath nang biglang lumindol. He ran outside the Beverly Hotel without his clothes on.
Guard: Mr. President! I think you forgot something...
Erap: Ay sh*t! Yung wristband ko!

TITSER: sinu si Jose Rizal? natahimik ang klase,
walang nagtaas ng kamay hanggang nainis si pedro at sinabing..
PEDRO: baka ibang section siya ma'am! -napakagaling na bata!

Magasawa, nag-aaway.
BABAE: punyeta ka!
LALAKE: punyeta ka rin!
BABAE: tarantado!
LALAKI: tarantado ka rin!
BABAE: supot!
LALAKI: sorry na!

Subject: Re: MATAWA KA KAYA??????? Sat Apr 17, 2010 10:31 am

ang kulet

Posts : 63 Join date : 2010-04-15

Subject: Re: MATAWA KA KAYA??????? Mon Apr 19, 2010 2:01 pm

Posts : 63 Join date : 2010-04-15

Subject: Re: MATAWA KA KAYA??????? Mon Apr 19, 2010 11:09 pm

MORE MORE

Subject: Re: MATAWA KA KAYA??????? Tue Apr 20, 2010 1:55 pm

[center]
doctor talking 2 a mental patient

"magling kna pla kc cNagip mO fRiEnd mu na nAlu2nOd! kya Lng, nAgbGti xa sA cR"

Patient:
"D pO dOk, cnBit q xA dOn pRa matuyo..."

hahahahaha

Subject: Re: MATAWA KA KAYA??????? Wed Apr 21, 2010 12:42 pm

@collins.. corny mo hahaha

Subject: Re: MATAWA KA KAYA??????? Wed Apr 21, 2010 12:48 pm

Sakristan: Father, may libangan din ba ang mga Pari?
Pari: Oo, naman, pag dating ng hapon, kaming mga pari dito sa bayan ay naglalaro ng Mahjong.
Sakristan: Bakit po naman Mahjong pa ang napili niyong laro?
Pari: Kasi, dito lang kami nakakasalat ng flower, Iho!

****************************************
two nuns.

There were two nuns...

One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).

It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight

and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.

SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most? What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.

SM: It's not working.

SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.

SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.

SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.

Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.

Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here!

Tell me what happened!

SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both,so he followed me

SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?

SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.

SM: And?

SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me.

SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.

SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.

SM: Oh, no! What happened then?

SL: Isn't it logical, Sister?

A nun with her dress up can run faster

than man with his pants down.

***********************************

69
GIRL:mag-69 tayo dear !

BOY:pano yun?

GIRL:ganito lang...

(pmwesto n cla at bglang nautot ang girl ng 4 times):

BOY:ayoko na!DI KO N KYA UNG NATITIRANG 65

*******************************

kondoktor
ang taong hindi natutumba ay dating kondoktora

*********************************

insekto

anong insekto ang namamaril??

edi salaguBANG..

*******************************

Praying for 10 Pesos
Sa loob ng simbahan ng Quiapo, isang batang pulubi ang mataimtim na nanalangin sa Diyos.

Pulubi: "Panginoon kung maaari po sana ay bigyan ninyo ako ng sampung piso dahil gutom na gutom na lang po ako."

Narinig sya ng isang pulis na kasalukuyan ding nagsisimba at
bumilib sya sa katatagan ng bata sa pananampalataya sa Diyos. Sa
kanyang habag ay dumukot sya ng limang piso at iniabot sa bata na ang
sabi: "Amang, narinig ng Diyos ang panalangin mo at heto tanggapin mo
ang perang ito at ibili mo ng pagkain".

Tumingala ang bata sa pulis, kinuha nya ang limang pisong iniabot
at muling yumuko para manalangin: "Panginoon, salamat po sa pagdinig
ninyo sa aking panalangin, pero sana naman po sa uli-uli wag na ninyong
pararaanin pa sa pulis, kasi malaki na ang bawas".

Posts : 63 Join date : 2010-04-15

wahahhaha . . . tae ung pulubi lol!